Colin and the Magic Bookmark Page 5

  Sammy gave a contemptuous little snarl, but the Count didn’t seem to notice.

  With a little wave as he disappeared into his office, he remarked, “Perhaps we’ll meet later and I’ll introduce you to the Countess.”

  “Dinner is served at seven o’clock,” boomed Fungus. “May I show you to your rooms?”

  And so it was that Colin and Mr. Jellysox were escorted down a long gloomy corridor. The rooms did not have numbers. They had names instead. Mr. Jellysox was in one called ‘Group A’ and Colin was in ‘Group O’.

  Inside the room was very strange with black walls, black ceiling and even black sheets and pillows on the bed. The bathroom and toilet were also in black, but with silver taps and fittings. The lights were adjustable and shone through the nose- and eye-holes of various artificial skulls littered around the walls and furniture. What Sammy did not like though was the mobile above the bed. He snarled at it. It was a full-size witch, riding on a broomstick.

  “It’s all right, boy,” said Colin. “It’s quite funny really and the room is surprisingly comfortable. I hope the food is as good. I’m glad they let me keep you in my room. I’m beginning to enjoy this.”

  A little while later he was not so sure. He had arranged to meet Mr. Jellysox in the hotel restaurant just before seven o’clock. As he walked in, he spotted someone he knew, someone he hoped never to see again. His brain went, “Neaaargh! No! No! No!” It was Mrs. Biggle, sitting at a table with all her family! Mr. Biggle, however, was for once looking cheerful. He raised his glass, smiled at Colin and walked over. Mrs. Biggle on the contrary stared straight through Colin in her usual unfriendly manner.

  “What are you doing here?” asked Mr. Biggle.

  “I don’t really know. I seem to be on a weekend holiday break.”

  “I love it here,” said Mr. Biggle. “You know, all that horror movie stuff. They use this place for the Castle Zorn films, and I persuaded my wife to come here and try it.”

  Colin thought to himself, “She certainly matches the atmosphere!” But he did not wish to offend Mr. Biggle, whom he quite liked, and so he said nothing.

  “She only agreed to come here though,” went on Mr. Biggle, “because the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies are staying here. They are filming next week. Personally I can’t stand them. Anyway, nice to see you.” With a friendly wave he went back to his table.

  “Oh no!” thought Colin. “First Mrs. Biggle, now the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies! I don’t think I can stand it either!”

  Just as Mr. Jellysox joined Colin, the tall, thin head-waiter, also dressed in black, and who looked like a younger brother of Fungus, appeared and showed them to their table. They were soon reading through the strange menu.

  “What on earth’s a Frankensteinburger? Does it have a steel bolt through it?” asked Colin.

  “I’ve no idea. And what about a Dracula Salad?” chuckled Mr. Jellysox.

  “Even the soup’s called Cream of Venison Congealed .!”

  “Well, how about a Scary Lasagne? Does it bite you back?”

  “Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to think up these names.”

  “Someone with a weird imagination,” added Mr. Jellysox.

  In fact the meal was very good. The Foxtail Soup was different. They enjoyed their Vampire Steak (Rare) with Potato Fangs, followed by Fruitbat Trifle and all washed down with a bottle of Dragon’s Blood Wine.

  They were just about to leave their table, when the Count approached them.

  “Gentlemen, allow me to introduce my wife, the Countess Anaesthesia,” he said.

  A rather frightening looking woman with an extremely pale face and pointed teeth stepped forward to shake hands or rather the tips of her fingers with them. She peered at them through a lorgnette in a rather strange way, almost thirstily. Her smile was quite chilling.

  “Yes,” thought Colin, “she’s definitely here to increase the atmosphere!”

  Meanwhile the Countess was murmuring, “How delicious, … er…how sweet to meet you.”

  Mr. Jellysox seemed dumbstruck. His legs were trembling.

  Colin, however, just laughed and said, “Delighted to meet you, ma’am.”

  Suddenly all the lights went out, and Fungus’ voice boomed out. “Don’t be afraid now, ladies and gentlemen. That comes later, if you wish to join me on the Ghost Walk round the castle. It begins in five minutes. I will be your guide. Meet me in reception please.”

  “Ooh! Lovely!” squealed Mrs. Biggle. “How exciting!”

  “Interested?” Colin asked Mr. Jellysox.

  “Why not?” was the reply.

  In fact everyone enjoyed the Ghost Walk, even the ghosts, who were hotel staff dressed up in long robes, wigs, skeleton costumes with gruesome masks and red eyes that lit up from battery packs at the press of a button. These weird creatures would hide, then leap out and startle the guests and make bloodcurdling howls and hissing noises. Sammy was not impressed. He just trotted round happily sniffing everything. Mrs. Biggle shrieked and giggled throughout. Colin and Mr. Jellysox had not heard her laugh before. It seemed most unnatural to them. However, about halfway into the walk, when Fungus said they were to beware of any ghostly animals they saw and upsetting them might bring bad luck, Mrs. Biggle seemed to shiver and was quiet for nearly twenty seconds. Mr. Jellysox had taken a lot of photos on his digital camera on their way round the castle. He even took some of the Count and his wife. There was a good one of Fungus looking seriously malignant, but none of Mrs. Biggle. At the end of the tour everyone thanked Fungus for making it such terrifying fun. They had all laughed a lot, pretending to be really frightened. This gave Colin an idea.

  “Can I ask you a favour, Mr. Jellysox?” he asked.

  “Of course. What is it?”

  “Would you take a special photograph of Sammy and me?”

  “Certainly. My pleasure, I’m sure.”

  “But first I need to get some things I found in the room.”

  “O.K. No problem. I’ll come with you.”

  They went back to Group O and Colin said, “Look.” He held out some joke false vampire teeth. If I wear these, and if Sammy will let me put these small ones in his mouth, it would make a brilliant photo.”

  “Hmm. O.K.” said Mr. Jellysox.

  Sammy did not need much persuading. He realised it was some sort of game. He gripped the false teeth firmly in his mouth and looked immediately like a grinning vampire dog. Colin popped his own set of horrible fangs into his own mouth. He too looked the part, possibly Count Dracula’s little brother. Mr. Jellysox took a picture of them both. The camera flashed. The bookmark throbbed once in Colin’s pocket. The digital screen showed an excellent photo.

  Then Mr. Jellysox had a wicked idea. He snapped his fingers in delight and was jumping up and down excitedly as he told Colin, who immediately grinned and said, “Good idea! Let’s do it!”

  Mr. Jellysox went to borrow a couple of cloaks from the staff, who had played the ghosts and ghouls in the Ghost Walk. When he came back, he popped another set of false vampire teeth into his mouth. Both he and Colin found it was not easy talking while they were wearing these false dentures, but they could make some strange noises and gurgles. They practised one or two and couldn’t stop giggling. They had to calm down before they put on their cloaks and Colin clipped Sammy’s lead to his collar. Then all three of them slipped out of the room and went in search of a certain person, whom they soon located making a lot of noise and fuss in the hotel lounge-bar. Mrs. Biggle had worked herself up into a frenzy of excitement because she had drunk one or two too many gin and tonics and was now at last speaking in person to her favourite T.V. celebrities, the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies. These were four actors, two men Josh and Steve, and two women, Anna and Emily, who played Molly and Apollo Swallow and Abel and Goldie Finch in several series of over the top stories called The Love Birds, stories in which they were alway
s excruciatingly madly in love and giving each other absurd presents such as a full-size chocolate motor-car or a remote controlled luminous golf-bag for use at night, or else they had raging rows, involving throwing ridiculous things at each other such as sculptures of Martian spacemen, hot-water bottles (without stoppers) filled with tomato-ketchup or giant cushions shaped like jellyfish and other sea creatures. This all took place in two very posh neighbouring houses in Kensington. Mrs. Biggle, being rather naïve, believed it all, as if each story had really happened. By this time the actors were looking thoroughly fed up, as admiring, flattering words gushed forth from Mrs. Biggle in an unending flow, all drunken nonsense. The Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies were too polite to interrupt. Mr. Biggle, looking equally as embarrassed as the others, sat nursing a glass of beer, but he did not dare to intervene. His wife waved her large glass of gin and tonic around, unaware that she was splashing everyone with her drink. Josh, Steve, Anna and Emily seemed hypnotised by her retelling of all the episodes of The Love Birds that she had watched.

  “And I loved that one where Abel got his foot stuck in a tub of custard and he tripped over the cat and fell on the sofa and the cat ate it I mean the custard not the sofa. And so I said to my husband…” No one ever found out what she intended to say, because she changed it to a shriek of terror. “Ya-eeeeeee!” She had just seen the three apparitions that had just come into the lounge-bar, still atmospherically lit by candles. She was staring at the gleaming white pointed fangs of the three demonic creatures that were Colin, Sammy and Mr. Jellysox. She heard them say something. It sounded like, “Urgle scrurgle!” Wide-eyed she clutched her glass, but her other hand pointed trembling at Sammy. “I once had a dog just like that. It’s come to haunt me!” she moaned. She turned and scrambled towards the exit. Unfortunately the Countess was just coming in. They both screamed, Mrs. Biggle because of the sudden appearance of a terrifying face in front of her own and the Countess because she thought she was being attacked by a hideous monster. Sammy yapped happily and the false vampire teeth fell out of his mouth. Everyone else, including the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies and Mr. Biggle were falling about in their chairs, laughing helplessly. Then Mr. Biggle guiltily set off in search of his wife to reassure her and perhaps sober her up.

  Steve strode forward, smiling, and shook hands with Mr. Jellysox and Colin. Then he crouched down to make a fuss of Sammy. “Thank you, guys,” he said.

  “Yes, thank you,” echoed Anna, Emily and Josh.

  “You rescued us from that dreadful woman,” continued Steve. “Come and have a drink with us.”

  And so it was that Mr. Jellysox and Colin made friends with the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies. Colin found that they were nothing like the awful characters they played on T.V. Mr. Jellysox took some more photos and the actors promised to sign them all for him.

  Soon they were joined by the Count, the Countess and Fungus.

  The Count explained. “I am not really the owner of the castle. My wife and I and Fungus are actors just like the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies here. Our very pale faces are due to make-up.”

  “But most of me is real!” laughed Fungus. “I’m actually very ordinary. My real name is John.”

  For a long time they talked and talked. Sammy was a focus of attention, as everyone made a great fuss of him and he was everyone’s friend. The bookmark glowed warmly in Colin’s pocket. It was unsurprisingly quite late, when they all returned to their rooms.

  “Goodnight, Colin,” said Mr. Jellysox, who had never had so much fun before.

  “Goodnight, Mr. Jellysox.”

  “Oh, you can call me Jeremy or rather I’m going to change that to Jez.”

  “O.K., Jez. See you in the morning.”

  The next morning though Mr. Jellysox was puzzled. In fact he was very puzzled.

  Work had just started in the library, when he said,”Colin, you know I’ve got a holiday booked at that new hotel?”

  Colin replied cautiously, thinking that it would perhaps be unwise to call his boss Jeremy or even Jez, “Yes, you told me last week.”

  “But I seem to have got some very strange photos taken there. You and Sammy are in some of them and so are some people I have never met. The lounge is very unusual, definitely the one at the hotel. It’s all very odd.”

  He handed the photos to Colin, who looked at them and smiled.

  “Yes, it could be the hotel. That looks a bit like me with Sammy, and I think these other people are the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies. Perhaps you’ve seen them on T.V.?”

  “No, I don’t think so. Never mind. It’ll have to remain a mystery.”

  Colin felt it best to agree with Mr. Jellysox, but he was thinking back to the previous night, when he had found himself once more in his armchair with Sammy on his lap. He had been very tired. He had closed the special book, and had gone straight to bed and fallen asleep immediately.

  It was only after he had finished work for the day and was taking Sammy for his evening walk, that he put his hand in his coat pocket. His fingers touched the set of false vampire teeth, his souvenir from Castle Zorn. The bookmark glowed again. It could not have been a dream.

  “Hmm, Sammy,” he said. Before we went to that hotel my book took us into the past. Now it seems to have taken us into the future. I wonder whether we will go to Castle Zorn again and meet Mr. Jellysox there and relive the same adventure. Where else will it take us?”

  But that is another story.

  Colin and Diana Jones at the Pyramid of Ptica Ptocl

  Colin and Sammy were very happy. However, the next time Colin opened his book he had a shock. The bookmark glowed, as he turned the page. By now he had got used to wearing different clothes that matched the kind of story he found himself taking part in. This time, when he looked down at his legs and feet, he saw that he was wearing short trousers. Sammy looked the same as usual, just a little dog, but Colin realised that in this story he was going to be a much younger character, a small boy in fact. He had never been very tall anyway. This could be very interesting.

  “Hey, Colin!”

  He looked up in surprise. His young cousin, Diana Jones, who was two years older than him, was smiling at him. They were standing in what appeared to be a wood with some very, very tall trees in it and it was a very hot sunny day.

  “I’m glad you are here,” said his cousin. “You can help me find my dad. He’s lost somewhere here in the jungle.”

  “Again?” said Colin.

  “Yes, just because he’s an explorer, it doesn’t mean he has a good sense of direction.”

  “Where was he the last time you saw him?”

  “Here in Mexico.”

  “What was he doing?”

  “He was trying to find the long lost Mayan pyramid of Ptica Ptocl. I’m worried. He may have been waylaid by Arth Kirbi, who is looking for it too. That man is really evil, and Dad can be rather absent-minded. He took a call on his mobile this morning and then dashed off, forgetting about me. So, here we are, walking along this track in the forest.”

  “Do you know where we’re going?” asked Colin. He watched Sammy enjoying all the new smells around him.

  Diana stopped and sat down on a log.

  “Yes, I think so. I’m hungry.” Taking a plastic box out of her backpack, she offered Colin a sandwich.

  “Thank you,” said Colin. “What’s in it?”

  “Oh, you’ll like it. It’s snake paste.”

  “Snake paste?”

  “Yes, anaconda with mustard.”

  “Oh”, said Colin and he bit hesitantly into his sandwich. “Actually it’s quite good and I like the bread. Here, boy”. He gave a piece of it to Sammy, who gobbled it down eagerly and looked up hoping for more.

  “Where did you get these?” asked Colin.

  “Oh, I managed to sneak some from Arth Kirbi’s truck. Well, it serves him right. He shouldn’t have hi-jacked our luggage at the airpo
rt.”

  “What?”

  “It’s only a small airport. He picked it up, threw it in his jeep and drove off.”

  “What did the police do?”

  “Nothing much. That’s why we’ve got to find Dad and A.K.”

  “Who is this Arth Kirbi?”

  “Oh, he’s my Dad’s brother, Uncle Arthur actually.”

  “And is he that bad?”

  “Oh, yes, he really is. Don’t be deceived by that smiling face or by those glasses or that curly beard. He reminds me of a teacher I once knew, and he was a really nasty piece of work.”

  The bookmark in Colin’s pocket throbbed and glowed. Suddenly he noticed something on the paper the sandwiches had been wrapped in.

  “Hey, what’s this?” he said, pointing at it.

  Diana took the paper from him and peered at it closely. “It looks like a map of some kind,” she replied.

  Colin (or Young Colin) was beginning to feel excited. He pointed at something else he had noticed. “There’s a funny triangle thing just there.”

  “Perhaps it’s the pyramid,” suggested Diana. “There are some words. Yes, it says Ptica Ptocl.”

  “But the pyramids are in Egypt, aren’t they?”

  “Yes, the most famous ones are, but Dad said the tribes of Central America built a lot of them here.”

  The bookmark glowed again. Sammy yapped and Colin looked up. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at. He took a few steps forward. “I think I can see something with a pointed roof through there.” He was facing some huge bushes with tall trees behind them.

  “Show me,” ordered Diana. “Watch out and listen for Arth Kirbi. He’s probably on our trail.”

  “Because of the missing sandwiches?”